Celebrity Gossip, US Embassy Style

Perez Hilton move over.  My Kazakh connections are abuzz with the juicy gossip coming out of the US embassy in Astana. Until cablegate outed them, you had to work for the state department to read the worlds best gossip site. Now its all over the web!


Check out what one catty US Embassy wallflower had to say about Kazakh Prime Minister Karim Masimov's passion for dancing:


The dance floor holds approximately 100 people, and at the time perhaps 50 patrons were dancing. However, Masimov himself chose to dance on an empty stage above the dance floor. His companions quickly tired but Masimov remained, dancing alone and animatedly on the stage for another 15-20 minutes. At approximately 1:00 am, Masimov and his retinue left the club.
In another quote, embassy officials display their sophistication and good breeding.  These guys are professional diplomats.  They got where they are by learning to speak 10 languages and understand the most subtle nuances of foreign culture. Or at least they come from a place from whence you can see Russia!  Here's what they have to say about the hospitality of "oligarch" Aleksandr Mashkevich:

It is not clear what Mashkevich is spending his billions on, but it is certainly not culinary talent. On all four occasions the Ambassador has eaten at one of his houses, the menu has been similar and focused on beshparmak (boiled meat and noodles) and plov.
Just be glad you weren't assigned to France, Mr. Ambassador. I'll bet they made one of your colleagues eat snails! Icky. But seriously, beshparmak is the national dish of Kazakhstan; were you expecting a happy meal? Oh, by the way, why is dining with oligarchs on the Ambassador's itinerary?

They hire real writers at the state department, as evidenced by this titillating tidbit:
Defense Minister Akhmetov, a self-proclaimed workaholic, appears to enjoy loosening up in the tried and true “homo sovieticus” style -- i.e., drinking  oneself into a stupor. While most of our accounts of Akhmetov’s indulgences with the bottle are hearsay, we do have “eyes on” for one episode which supports the rumors ... Making no attempt to conceal his condition -- slouching back in his chair and slurring all kinds of Russian participles -- Akhmetov explained to this very senior guest that he had just been at a cadet graduation reception “toasting Kazakhstan’s newly-commissioned officers.”
I'm no expert on diplomacy in former Soviet states, but I'm guessing you don't want to get caught dissing the "participles" of the defense minister or his ability to hold his liquor.  So Perez, if you're hit count is dropping off from this new cablegate competition think about applying with the State Department.  It looks like they could use your talents in Astana.

I couldn't figure out how to work the term "ugly American tourist" into this post.  So I'm sticking it here at the end.  In a way it speaks for itself.
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